While the war in Iraq has been very bad news for Saddam Hussein and the loyal members of his regime, one of them has landed a plum job at premiership outfit Aston Villa due to his high profile appearances on television. Mohammed Saeed Al- Sahhaf, the Minister of information is due to take up his role as soon as the current conflict ends, speaking to our reporter earlier today the minister said, "The call from Villa came out of the blue, Mr Ellis contacted me personally and said I was just the man to tell it like it is at Aston Villa", he continued " He told me how impressed he'd been with my performances on television and how he could hardly believe anyone else existed who held the truth in the same high regard as himself. I must admit to being in awe of Mr Ellis having watched his wonderful expression of the truth so many times on Television in the past and have modelled my recent performances on those of Mr Ellis.

He further added "Mr Ellis also expressed his sadness at the demise of my colleague Ali Hassan Al-Majid, with who he very much would have liked to discuss protest management techniques. " he then added " as soon as we have won this war I will be able to take up my position, but for now I'd like to express my delight at Aston Villa's 4-0 defeat of Arsenal at the weekend, the way we crushed them was magnificent and I would like to take the opportunity to assure Villa supporters that we will take next seasons European champions league campaign seriously, just as much as our defense of the league championship and both cups.

I will be able to offer some assistance with the acquirement of the quality players we will need to supplement our strong squad of world class internationals, as current world champions having won the last 3 world cups it is widely recognised the best players in the world come from my country, My contacts in Iraq will be enable me to bring in many of the current Iraq national squad and Mr Ellis assures me he will be able to get them into Britain as asylum seekers and this will have the added benefit of subsidising their top class wages with the state benefits they will be able to claim."

When asked to comment Mr Ellis said "this is a fantastic day for Aston Villa, no longer will we have to put up with the nonsense and half truths from the man on the terraces as we have had to in the past. The truth about Aston Villa can finally be told with the sincerity and integrity the fans deserve